i guess not

RUBY:
i am distressed..

REN:
why/

RUBY:
dennis screwed someone today.

REN:
!!!!
and he told you about it?

RUBY:
my ah lian girlfried was sending him an invite..
she wanted to drop the card of at his place cos she was along the way..
then my dennis doesn't have curtains.. for the front window..
he was screwing the girl..

REN:
shit!

RUBY:
my friend almost give birth there and then..
she was crying when she called me..

REN:
does he know she saw him?

RUBY:
i dunno why my life sho drama..
i dunno.. but she said she left the card at the door and left
her husband wanna beat dennis up! she was getting all emotional when she called me but i appreciate friends like this man..
i know it was hard for her to tell me..
i told dennis before..
that seriously if u need to screw go ahead.. but just let me know.. cos we're both adults and i know that i dun see you often enough
but he said no..
he didn't want too..
now see lah!

REN:
men will be men..

RUBY:
i should have screwed PETE

REN:
yes you should have

RUBY:
at least i also puas!
fuck man..
i so sad..

REN:
never trust a man

RUBY:
this is why i dun like being in a relationship..
the men always fuck it up!
now i really think i have to get LAID!
this always happens..
when i let my guard down..
finally say yes to committement..
this is wat happens..
aaahhhhh fuckkk lahh!!!
when i got the news in the afternoon.. my first instinct was to clean and clean..

REN:
you should ask him

RUBY:
i cleaned until i was breathless.. and my hands was shaking!

REN:
you should ask what he did all day

RUBY:
yeah.. i am going to send him a voucher for curtains!

REN:
hahaha

RUBY:
fuck it

REN:
and ask if he got the baby shower invitation..

RUBY:
actually..
i went on-line..
bought curtains.. to his address..

REN:
HAHA.. REALLY???

RUBY:
yup..

REN:
good one!
did you attach a note?

RUBY:
of cos..
the note reads..., "with regards...
From the ONE you didn't fuck

REN:
haha

RUBY:
in my rage.. i can do plenty of things..

REN:
my goodness.. you can never tell huh..

RUBY:
this is the best way..
did i do the right thing..

REN:
continue to tease him..
say you're going to germany

RUBY:
i asked my g/f how does the girl look like...
u know what she said..

REN:
what

RUBY:
i almost fell off the bed...
in an instant.. she just shouted in mid crying.. "LIKE A COW!"

REN:
my god..

RUBY:
yeah... in her best ahlian voice somemore..
i can just imagine her..
she's 2 weeks away from popping!
i told her i was ok.. why do preggie people have to get so emotional!

REN:
funny how you find these things out huh..
such timing

RUBY:
yeah...
i told you my life damn fucking drama lahhh!
can someone pls contact me to write a book!
sure can go on Oprah!

REN:
jerry springer, more like..
do something fun.
tell him you're going to germany in a few days
give him your flight no
arriving middle of the night

RUBY:
cannot lah.. i send the card already..
anti climax

REN:
ohyeah

RUBY:
next time lahh...
if i ever decide on the whole long distance thingee again!

REN:
bastard
you alright babe?

RUBY:
yeah... i'm ok!
tougher than this lahh!
i just need to get laid now!
i literally feel sick about dennis.. i wanna puke like that..

REN:
yeah..
when are the curtains going to get there?

RUBY:
well i bought the cheapest one over e-bay..
so express service should be in 2 days..

REN:
hehe

RUBY:
i dunno how'll he react to the curtains..

REN:
maybe he will call you and say thanks.
haha!
what are you going to say when he calls you?

RUBY:
i will say...
did u get the invitation?

REN:
i would say, - my friend wanted to give it to you personally, but she didn't want to interrupt..
she realized you were busy then
it's not good enough to do things behind closed doors, so i decided to buy you curtains.
hope you like them. you're welcome
haha!

RUBY:
hahaha
yeaaaahhhhhhh..
i will say that
i feel like whooping his ass!
i need to get cock!

REN:
go get one. NNNNNNNNNNNNNOw
CFM.. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUDY:
well i have a few back in SG..
fuck fuck fuck..
i need to screw

REN:
but be careful..
and bring protection.. you don't know where these guys have been.. all the men there look like real fuckers

RUBY:
yeaahh...
but i'm a fucker as well..
hahah

RUBY:
that's true

REN:
protect them

RUBY:
hahaha
eeehh...
i seriously come full service..
clean, cook, make the bed.. warm the bed.. fuck..
waaahh best sial!

REN:
best..
if i were a lesbo, i'll woo you
not bad man
but must buy curtains for myself first

RUBY:
hahaha!
if u were a man.. i'd fuck you..

(exchanging hot photos)

see see... quick!

REN:
oooooooooooooooooooooooo
eeeeeeeee... so fast..
ok, i'm a lesbo

RUBY:
haha
u want a piece of me dun cha???

REN:
yaya

RUBY:
hahaha!

REN:
that picture reminded me of a good blow

RUBY:
but seriously... tuff lahhh... cos i dun think i can ever go down on a gerl..

REN:
me too actually
how to..

RUBY:
yeaaaahh!

REN:
actually i could
haha!

RUBY:
haiyoh..
drunk lahh must be!

REN:
perhaps

RUBY:
i think need to get over the intial bits..
then once shiok shiok ok already

REN:
i kissed a girl before
didn't feel turned on at all
i'm so straight

RUBY:
yeahhh me too... i kissed a girl once and i was like..
that's it..
hahaha
cannot lahhh!

REN:
yeah..

RUBY:
kiss also for fun..
like tak shiok..

REN:
yeah
at least we tried it and know for sure
we love dickS
i have to admit though, girl's lips ARE softer. but i like it rough..

RUBY:
yeaaaahhh...
they can chafe for all i care..
men men men,..

REN:
i would do elizabeth hurley though
and beyonce

RUBY:
yeahh,,,
beyonce..
i like!

REN:
i lerrrrrrrrrrrrrvv.
for men, DENZEL WASHINGTON. i will give my right arm for one night with him.
fuck, i'll come if he even touches a strand of my hair.

RUDY:
hahaha

REN:
and george clooney

RUBY:
who would make me cum>> hahaha
(RUBY shows REN another hot picture)

REN:
SAUCY!!!

RUBY:
u like this pic?

REN:
are you teasin me babe?

RUBY:
yeaaahh...

REN:
if you want a piece of me, just say so

RUBY:
i know u want me..
don't be shy

REN:
HEHE.. i want to try italian...... cuisine
maybe we should go to italy

RUBY:
yeaaaahh...
makan the italian stallions..

REN:
yaya

RUBY:
damn babe..
i gotta stop thinking about fucking lahhh!
u remind me everynite
hahaha
now that my b/f has screwed me over..
i dun have to tahan anymore..

REN:
let the fuck fest begin!!

RUBY:
i am more pissed at him cos he didn't tell me..

REN:
i understand

RUBY:
all he has to do is say!
i dun mind him fucking other people..
cos i think it's only healthy when we're apart..

REN:
he wouldn't believe you wouldn't mind

RUBY:
but sex and love is different..
i know sex is sex..

REN:
yup

RUBY:
so.. i only demand exclusivity if we decided to be in the same country together..
told him from the start.
but ohh well..
i hope he gets the curtains.. early..
hahaha