now this is MY 2 cents worth RUBE...

REN SPEAKS:
You won’t fucking believe the conversation between me and my mum this morning.
We were talking about whom we found good looking. she always found me to be a nitpicking freak when it comes to men. I’m not sure how the topic drifted to dave, my distant cousin.

REN:
Now DAVE has a good body.

MOM:
Yeah, he’s quite good looking.

REN:
That body doesn’t come for free you know. He works out..

MOM:
Really?

REN:
Of course! What do you think?

MOM:
Actually, I was kind of worried when you guys went for that holiday in Thailand.

REN:
Huh? What?

MOM:
Yes

REN:
Don’t tell me you were worried I would fuck him?

MOM:
Yes

REN:
MOM!!!! He’s my cousin!!!

MOM:
Who’s knows.. it’s YOU. you’ll never know..

REN:
Oh my god!! You actually think I’d fuck him?

MOM:
I don’t know.. but I WAS worried..

REN:
How come you didn’t warn me then, if you were so worried?

MOM:
Because I know you, I can’t control you. If you wanted to fuck, what can I do? You mean you REALLY didn’t???

REN:
(jaw dropped) Are you freaking MAD???? (fingers running down my other arm) WE’RE BLOOD!!!!!!!! WE’RE FUCKING BLOOD!!!!!!

MOM:
(roaring in laughter)
You’ll never know with you.. you can be a fucker sometimes.

REN:
Hehehe… You know I’m saving myself for marriage, like you always taught me. I’m a 30 year old virgin…

MOM:
Tell it to the marines girl.