Why I’m always late for work

(REN dining al fresco with Leia and Zara)

ZARA:
it’s so cold out here I’m getting spasms

REN:
I only experience spasms for ONE thing..

ZARA:
WHAT?? You mean you can even get spasms from that?

REN:
errrrr… yeah? Doesn’t EVERYONE?

ZARA:
WHAT??????

REN:
Oh, COME, ON… Leia, back me up on this.

LEIA:
errrrr… no???

REN:
What? Reeeeally? I thought horny spasms were normal..

ZARA and LEIA:
Errrrrrrrrr… noooo???

REN speaks to self:
Fuck! I’ve missed buses, I’ve gone way past my intended stops, I’ve blacked out during casual conversations and meetings at work…
And why? Simply because I was immersed in an intense sexual thought and experiencing the resulting jolts of my horny spasms..
Oh, COME, ON, people.. Surely, I’M not the ONLY one suffering from this sweet disorder?