Borderline Lesbians Part VIII

REN and RUBY in BQ bar:

REN:
Think I should ask for SP’s number (cute waitress)?

RUBY:
Shut up! I’m sitting right here!

REN:
Hahaha.. I would do her.. She’s not gorgeous, but she IS a cutie pie.

RUBY:
YOU HAVEN’T EVEN DONE ME YET, AND YOU WANT TO DO ANOTHER GIRL?? FUCK YOU!!

REN:
Hahahahaha.. BABY! You know I love you…

RUBY:
Shut up! Don’t talk to me! You haven’t done THIS puki (pointing to her puki) and you want to fuck another one.. KOTEK you know you!!!

{After turning away a persistent babi kotek,
After turning away an aussie kotek, (obviously both weren’t great)
After a free beer from the bar,
We decided to head on to One-Night-Stand Club}

RUBY:
Ok, I let you kiss SP goodnight. SIGH!!!!

REN:
Hehehehehe…

RUBY:
GO ON! GO AHEAD! PUKI YOU!!

(SP was balancing a small tower of glasses when we were walking out. I tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around. I stepped closer to her, wrapped my lower arm around her neck, and gave her a firm kiss goodbye on her cheek.. It was sweet. )

When Ruby and I walked out….

REN:
SPAZZZZZZZZ! Hahahahaha!

RUBY:
FUCK YOU LAH!!! Don’t you touch me!!!

*REN speaks:

Psychological research proved that most homophobes are likely to be closet homosexuals. Well, I don’t know about that, but I do believe it when experts say that everyone questions their sexuality at least once in their lifetime.

I stopped asking men for their take on this, because ALL of them just quivered at the idea. Come on, I am not saying that you ARE gay, or that you HAVE doubts about your orientation. Fine if it’s not for you. All I’m saying is that, you must have at one point, no matter how brief, even for a split second, entertained the thought. And if you haven’t, you are now. Haha..

Me? I wonder sometimes…

Am I Bi just because

1) I found Ellen Degeneres oddly attractive when her sitcom “Ellen” made its debut in 1994. And I rushed home from school to catch the “coming-out” episode.

2) I sensed Anne Heche, Ellen’s ex (below) was straight when their relationship was much publicized..

And I think Portia De Rossi (Ellen’s present girlfriend-below) is a lucky bitch.


3) I felt that my friend’s girlfriend could be someone who could nudge me to the dark side (physically) if she was lesbian.

4) I get sexual lesbian dreams.

5) My ex boyfriend insisted I had repressed lesbian tendencies.

6) Another ex-boyfriend reminded me that having sexual relations with a woman was still considered cheating.

7) Women approached me for sex.

Why I conclude that I’m straight as hell:

1) Women’s emotional issues are too much for me to handle.

2) Women play more games than men, which I find fucking annoying.

3) However much I find lesbian sex arousing, I just know I’m not going to enjoy it as much as I do in my head.

4) I am even pickier over women than men..

5) I would prefer to have kids of my own.

6) A Man’s firm lips over a woman’s soft ones any day.

7) My puki tenses up in the presence of a man I’m sexually attracted to.. It never throbs that way with a woman.

***Who am I kidding… I STILL LOVE MEN.
And ALL they have to offer..