Bare Naked Ladies

*REN speaks:

I decided on Danielle’s birthday present about 3 weeks ago. She had no clue what I was up to. All she knew was that she had to meet me in front of Borders at 615pm.
This is a brief rundown of what happened yesterday.



She walked through the entrance of Wheelock Place on Orchard Road.

REN:
(smiling cheekily) So! Let’s not waste time… We’re diving straight to the present. The thing is, it’s kind of custom made. So we have to go to the 3rd floor to collect it.

DANIELLE:
Oh! How sweet! Mua! Mua!
Can we get something to eat later? I’m fucking STARVING!!!

REN:
Sure, sure.. You eat, I’ll drink.
(I just knew I needed drinks after what we were about to do. Well, I guess I needed drinks anyway.)

(hopped onto the escalator.. Walked along the shops.. I stopped at STRIP, and held the door open for her.)

REN:
Come on then… (she must have thought she was getting a mani-pedi treatment)

DANIELLE:
(Walks in nervously.. ) Er….What’s happening? why are we here?

REN:
(we walked to the counter) You’ll find out in a bit. Excuse me miss, I have an appointment for 2 people at 630pm?

DANIELLE:
What is it Ren? (looking around, talking to herself)
hmmm.. Manicure… STRIP. Pedicure… STRIP.
Why is the name of the shop STRIP?
(she catches sight of some bikini line posters and patterns)
FUCK! NO!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHA!!

DANIELLE:
No Ren! I’m serious! I’m not prepared for this!!!!

REN:
Oh come on! It’s a gift! You have to take it! And I’m doing it WITH you! (my first time too)

DANIELLE:
(shaking, almost tearing) no! fuck, I’m going to leave now!

REN:
(grabbed on to her) No!!! you’re doing it!

DANIELLE:
FUCK!!!

(in my private room.. My puki has gone fully naked before, and sex after that was mmmmmmm…. But anyway, that’s another story. I just thought it would be nice to sport a pattern this time. The only one I liked was a simple strip.)

Ling, my waxing lady drips and spread the hot wax.

REN:
Ahhhh…
this feels good… ah… nice…

LING:
(she sticks the paper on.)
okay, hold on..



REN:
What the fuck? Wait wait wait!
(I looked around for something to hold on to. Okok, the pillow under me. God I wished I had something else up my puki in that position.)
okok, go.. ARGH…. (she hasn’t stripped it)
ARGH…. (she hasn’t stripped it)
ARGH…. (she hasn’t stripped it)

STRIP!!!!

REN:
#$%^&*&^%$#!!!!!!!
(I could feel blood rushing to my face. I almost felt a bead of sweat after 3 strips. I think the first was THE killer. I thought to myself.. “it was educational, But no, never again.. Women are crazy.” This went on for 15 minutes. I made my way back to the counter to wait for Danielle. Girl at the counter said to me, “you can take a seat first.. Your friend will be a little longer“.

REN:
It’s ok.. (actually, I was afraid to sit. I could hardly walk.)

(Danielle was done. The moment we walked out the glass doors, our legs gave way to the numbing sensation. We were laughing like crazy in that position, totally oblivious to the fact that the shop’s doors were made of glass. The shop assistants were laughing at us from inside. I think we were numb in our heads too.)

DANIELLE:
God.. You bitch! Thank you? I guess? Hahahahaha.. (hugs)
Fuck, NOW I need a drink!

*On our way to Muddy Murphy‘s Pub, I noticed we were walking shoulder to shoulder.

REN:
Hey, check this out!
(pointing at our body language)
Are we so traumatized, we have to stick to each other for physical and emotional support? Hahahaha!

DANIELLE:
Hahahahhaha! Yeah! This is too funny! You know, I feel like shouting out to the world, I’M SO BRAVE! I want to take my jeans off now..

REN:
Yeah! Let’s. no point keeping it a secret. Let’s share it with the world!

.

DANIELLE:
Hahahahaha..

*We found seats at Muddy Murphy’s.

.

REN:
2 wines please. Did you want some food? You said you were really starving just now.

.

DANIELLE:
I can’t fucking think about food now man! Drinks! Drinks!

REN:
Hahahhaha..

.

DANIELLE:
I need to pee.

.

REN:
Okay.

.

DANIELLE:
(2 minutes later, she walked back.)

I couldn’t do it. I think my pussy is stressed. I’ll go later.

.

REN:
Hahahahaha…
.

DANIELLE:

alright.. cheers then.. to?

.

REN:

to.... to EVEN better sex!

.

DANIELLE:

hahahaha!! yeah!

hey, Does Allejandro (Danielle’s husband) know about this?

.

REN:
Nah.. You can surprise him later!
.

DANIELLE:
Yeah!

*a few jack daniels each later, Danielle was looking a little wasted.

.

REN:
I know I said I would never do it again.. But now, I kind of think I’m gonna keep at it. I forgot how good it feels...

.
ALLEJANDRO comes from behind Danielle:
Boo!

.

DANIELLE:
What the?

.

REN:

surprise!

.

ALLEJANDRO:
Hahahaha... enjoying yourselves?
.

DANIELLE:
Do you know what Ren gave me?!!!!!!

.

ALLEJANDRO:

I knew it all along.

.

DANIELLE:
What the…
.

ALLEJANDRO and REN:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

DANIELLE:
You, you, you, you…

*REN speaks:

.

4th of July 2006 will be etched in 3 hearts, 2 pukis, and 1 kotek forever.

Happy Birthday Danielle! And you’re welcome, Allejandro. I love you both. LOTS!
So how were the fucks? I expect a full report on the blog by Friday.