Sense and Predictability

REN speaks:

I was on msn with one of my oldest and "bestest" friends, Yenyen. she was probably the first one to come up to me and said, "REN sounds freakin' suspiciously like you!" I almost spit my rose wine out that day.. haha..

YENYEN:
Yo!

REN:
I just updated the s-word blog.. Go read it!

(she reads...)

YENYEN:
-quote-
I'M CELIBATING UNTIL I FUCK A CHINESE MAN

-unquote-

WTF????

REN:
Haha!!

REN:
Hey, I was having drinks with 3a few my buddies recently, and I was telling them what i thought of them individually, and as a couple and so on.. and we drifted on to the topic of predictability.. then when i said i think i'm predictable.. all of them disagreed

YENYEN:
u r as predictable as change is the only constant...

REN:
Wtf, really! Fuck, when i asked my mum.. "mum, am i unpredictable?"
Without hesitation, she shouted, “YES.”
I do admit, i do things out of character sometimes, but who doesn’t?

YENYEN:
u hv this tendency to do something another way when everyone else thot u would do it this way...

REN:
really? like what?

YENYEN:
like when u were with Chris?

REN:
er huh..

YENYEN:
i honestly thot u were gonna to end up wif him, coz he can give u the lifestyle dat u want.

REN:
oh...

YENYEN:
n he pampers u like a princess, i hope at the very least u remember dat.

REN:
yeah.. he's the nicest guy I’ve ever met.

YENYEN:
i thot u were juz bored, n dat u were gonna stick by him at the end of the day.

REN:
really.. that's interesting..

YENYEN:
but u din... u shook ur life up by breaking up wif him.

REN:
yeah.. it was chaos. 5 years with him man.. i was quite a mess. Felt fucking guilty. STILL do.

YENYEN:
imagine, if u had stuck wif him, wud u hv known all ur indian frens now? travelled as much, seen as much?

REN:
fuck... you're so right.. you are so fucking right

YENYEN:
i dun think so, i think ur world wud juz revolve around him n his family

REN:
yeah.. but nothing wrong with that.. it's just that i didn't want MY life to be that way.. I can die.. yeah man.. fuck.. i will probably turn out to be a snooty bitch

YENYEN:
exactly. so even tho u might not know wat u were looking for, searching for by breaking up. but u knew u had to. n u took the damn chance.

REN:
i was fucking scared you know

YENYEN:
i do give u the thumbs up for daring to do dat. to throw all dat security away n took the chance...

REN:
yeah fuck, i'm so different now.. i mean i always felt it.. but to hear it coming from you is something else. I’m just thinking what i would have been like..
yuck!

YENYEN:

not gonna give u nightmares, i hope???

REN:
shit man.. i was one sad character
nothing to do with him of course.. it was just me WITH him..

YENYEN:
disclaimer : not dat there's anything wrong wif Chris or the type of life he leads.

REN:
nah.. he's the nicest guy ever. we both know that. and he's not at all arrogant
but i think i would have been a bitch.

YENYEN:
ya, juz dat i honestly can't envision a life like dat...

REN:
it was all my fault though. in little ways, of course it was perfect.. my whole life would have been sorted out man.. darn! haha!

YENYEN:
i think u can't stand having ur life sorted out...hence all the shit i've known since college???? *rolls eyes*

REN:
Hehe… This is really fucking interesting...

*REN speaks:

Dear Yenyen,

You’re a sweetheart.. I don’t know if you remember this… but I never forgot your amazing gesture. And I don’t think I ever verbalized my heartfelt appreciation. So I’m doing it now.. When I called from work to tell you I broke up with Chris, you met me straight after, showing up with flowers.
I felt even more messed up. (in a strangely good way though)

i was feeling like a fucking bitch for breaking my boyfriend’s heart. A gem of a guy. He soooo… didn’t deserve it. And I’m freakin getting flowers for it! I realized only yesterday through our conversation that it wasn’t just comfort you were offering, but a recognition of the step I was willing to take to change my life.

I love you yen, MUA!
REN.