Clit Contrast

REN speaks:

the following is part of a conversation with Drake, an ex.

Drake:
Yours is the most beautiful I have ever seen

REN:
oh please.. now you're lying.. don't they all look the same

Drake:
no way

REN:
????

Drake:
do all dicks look the same???

REN:
er.. No, but clits are just a little ball no? how different can they be?

Drake:
No, for me the longer the clit the better
I think the reason why you can get wet so fast is because your clit is bigger

REN:
it does look bulgy but i thought that was normal

Drake:
fuck...so horny baby

REN:
hey! tell me! i want to know!

Drake:
What..

REN:
so mine is rounder? i need to know..

Drake:
yours is really putruding

REN:
oh.. i REALLY thought that was normal..

Drake:
no way

REN:
oh......... this is enlightening

Drake:
For some women.. you have to really find it

REN:
oh......... no wonder

Drake:
no wonder what?

REN:
You always hear about men having difficulty finding it.. i mean, if he can’t find it, I’m sure the woman will show it to him… haha, and i always thought men were just idiots not being able to locate it.. O…..h…. so NOW I know… it ain't that simple.

(The next day, I asked Ruby about it…)

REN:
Did you know that clits are very different amongst women? Someone just highlighted that fact to me..

RUBY:
hmmmmm...i dunno... guys dun normally get to peek down me
much less have their faces in my cunt… me ticklish

REN:
oh yeah..
but you know... you always hear from tv or read articles about how men can’t find it. i ALWAYS thought those men were idiots if they couldn't.. Or the women were stupid enough not to show their men where they were.

RUBY:
yeah.. so its not entirely their fault. Haha

REN:
Yeah.. so now we know…

Dicknology

RUBY:
thought u were gonna update s-word?

REN:
My phone has been ringing and beeping non-stop. All cocks. It’s like they had a secret meeting and decided to “torture” me at the same time.. Hahaha.. oh well.. it'll stop after awhile..

RUBY:
Hahahahaha… that's a good problem right?

REN:
Of course! Hahaha..
But seriously, if you’re talking about just sex: I still can’t help feeling that if I give in to a major fuck-fest, I’ll land up losing a piece of myself. Mentally. Don’t know if I make sense…

It would be GREAT if I wanted to date them though. Just not feelin’ it…
************************************************************
REN speaks:
A few days ago, I went to work in the morning and found unheard voice mails left on the office line. It was heavy breathing interrupted with a song playing in the background.. It sounded like this person was seated really close to the speaker, because the volume wasn’t blasting but I could hear every word. It went something like.. “come to me tonight… lalala…”. After ruling out some possible suspects whom I thought might be playing a stupid joke, I decided to give up.
Because if it WASN’T a practical joke, I’d rather not know now..

The Sisters are having a Bad Day

*REN speaks:

Ruby texted me this morning at 820.
“had a bad dream! may need a drink tonite! I need my puki pea! Need! Need! Need!”

-I logged into MSN hoping to find her...

RUBY:
puki!!!! PUKI!!! so glad to seeee you... had such a bad dream last night! GOOOOSSSHHHH

REN:
what was it?? tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

RUBY:
and its vivid!

REN:
tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

RUBY:
i was dreaming that i was in a meeting room of some sort.. then right across me was ted... he refused to look at me in the eyes.. then they were giving out envelopes.. everyone got small envelopes.. but i got the biggest one.. inside it was a folder.. i opened it up and there it was.. it was an invitation to a wedding.. plus on the card.. i saw ted and this hideous indian woman... NOT ME! then i remember crying and crying then inside it was a ticket.. air ticket to Jamaica.. of all places! next scene.. i was on the plane.. then time for transit.. i got off.. then i found myself in a building totally unfamiliar.. with mirrors.. i could see myself.. in the lift and everything else.. then i remember missing the callback to get back on the plane.. i was LOST. i sit and cry and cry and cry. stranded in the middle of nowhere.. then i woke up. found i had an sms... it was 1:15am.. when i woke up. Mr S msg me at 1:08am.. asking me if i was out?

REN:
hahaha

RUBY:
the wedding picture freaked me out sial..

REN:
maybe it's a fear that ted will leave you. you'll be lost without ted. you'll be lost for while, you cry for awhile, you will take holiday .. End of the day, you will fuck Mr S.

RUBY:
cibai u

REN:
haha

RUBY:
I’m serious! u play!

REN:
It’s only a dream babe!

RUBY:
i need to take my mind off ted. dun wanna think about him for the next 2 days. i tell you fucking him is quite hard work. i nvr had to chase a man. TO FUCK for goodness sake. ... me need to be a little more unavailable.

REN:
you trying to act tough? forget it man..

RUBY:
i dun want to be taken for a ride lahh.

REN:
you're making yourself suffer only

RUBY:
no protecting myself. i cannot like him too much too soon. later i will fall hard if it doesn't work out. got cock but cannot use. which is worse.
me feeling sexy today! must be me shoes. but i will open my legs for u! need a kotek. where can we find..
i mean.. i like doing stuff for ted.. to the point where i am spoiling him..but i dun wanna be taken for granted.. is that even possible

REN:
You’re wasting my time again. i think you're just not screwed enough. Simple.

RUBY:
yeah.. i start talking cock.. when i dun screw enough..
i have not had a mid week bonk in YONKS! i'm not feeling good la.
i need a drink lahhh. can we go puki peeeee?
PLEASE!
PLEASE!
PLEASE!
PLEASE!
PLEASE!

REN:
okie peeeeea.

RUBY:
YAY!
YAY!
YAY!
me so proud of you! FIRST time you can commit so early! its only 9am, and we making plans for 6:30pm

REN:
Yeah.. usually i bitch like hell..

RUBY:
that's why! Yeah! Yay!!

REN:
Puki you.. asking me to commit so early. My eyes are not even fully open yet. I guess I MUST love you.

RUBY:
YEAH! Mua! kiss u lots lots.. me feel so loved.. maybe we should go dancing today.. but i am comfortable with a beer and cheese. maybe BQ for beer and cheese.

REN:
i drank so much yesterday man..

RUBY:
anyone u fancy there?

REN:
i know all of them. All Friends. nothing exciting in that sense.

RUBY:
right now.. i will fuck a friend.. only if he keeps quiet. me highly strung.
What’s happening to your spasm.. how.. under control or not?

REN:
FUCK man! still spasming.. Not the good kind.. in freakin pain!!!

RUBY:
hahahahahaha
Poor u.. ... haha

REN:
Why are you laughing? It’s not funny! It’s not remotely funny!!
puki pulsating...

RUBY:
hahaha

REN:
fuck you! I’m serious!

RUBY:
u need another screw yeah?

REN:
i don't want to do anyone

RUBY:
just anyone u mean?

REN:
yeah... i feel like killing my puki.. put my puki to sleep for good. Know of a good anesthesiologist?

RUBY:
kill ur sex drive?

REN:
Yeah.. I want to fucking kill it

RUBY:
after that be a nun

REN:
Haha!! Might as well, I’m celibating already anyway.

RUBY:
not listening to ur nonsense.
i need a drink.

REN:
Haha… now you sound like me ..
But I’m serious ! FUCK man! still spasming.. Not the good kind mind you!! Puki in freakin pain!!!

RUBY:

That serious?? how does it feel like?

REN:

i'm shaking, i'm trembling even in the hot sun, i can't fold my legs in peace, it's hot, tense, and it hurts like fuck.

RUBY:

i don't think i have ever gotten this way.

REN:

okok.. you know the feeling you and your puki get when you are JUST about to cum?

RUBY:

y........e....ah?

REN:

THAT is what my body has been experiencing.. puki man..

RUBY:
Is THIS your idea of a bad day??? FUCK YOU!

Ren’s Confession Booth

*REN speaks:

Last night, in Boat Quay Bar, we were about to finish up our drinks. Ruby was VERY determined to call it a night after her first beer, and me after my second glass of white wine. We had a sip left in our glasses at this point.

REN:
Okok… Rube?

RUBY:
yeah?

REN:
I have a confession.

RUBY:
(eyes grew wide open)

REN:
Hahahahahaha!!!!

RUBY:
What? You pregnant?

REN:
No! hahahahahaha!

RUBY:
What??? What??? What??? What??? What???

(clearing the plates and glasses standing between us)

RUBY:
What??? What??? What??? What??? What???

REN:
Hahahahahahahaha!

RUBY:
What??? What??? What??? What??? What??? What??? What???

REN:
Erm…. I haven’t been…

RUBY:
What??? What??? What??? What??? What??? What??? What???

REN:
I haven’t been… quite…

RUBY:
What??? What??? What??? What??? What??? What??? What???

REN:
I haven’t been… quite… celibate…

(just when you thought her eyes couldn’t get any bigger, they did.)

RUBY:
Y......OU B…..ITCH!!!!!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

RUBY:
Wha…wha…Wha…wha…Wha…wha…

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

RUBY:
I HATE YOU!!!!!! YOU BITCH!
HOW??
WHEN????
WH...…OOOOOOO????!!!!!!!!!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

RUBY:
YOU BITCH!!!!!!! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I WAS WONDERING HOW YOU COULD HOLD OUT FOR SO LONG! YOU BITCH!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
What do you mean? I CAN hold, and HAVE held out for that long.. maybe even longer!!

RUBY:
FUCK YOU Ren! There I was, worried you’re not getting laid, YOU BITCH!!!!

REN:
No really Rube, I don’t want to pollute it with the s-word and all. Because it was really sweet.. I want to let it die with me..

RUBY:
CUT THE CRAP! (EYES STILL BULGING)
TELL ME NNNOW! TELL ME! YOU BITCH!!!!

(She gulps her beer, and slams the empty mug back down on the table.) FUCK! I NEED ANOTHER BEER!!!!
I AM FUCKING HAVING ANOTHER BEER!!!!
EXCUSE ME, ONE MORE HEINY, AND A WHITE WINE PLEASE!!!!

(turns to me)
YOU B….ITCH!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK!!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Thought you wanted to cut down on alcohol..
you absolutely refused to order another beer just now! Hahahaha!
Erm.... there’s another thing…

RUBY:
WHAT THE FUCK????!!!! YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What!!!!!!

(she picks up a paper napkin from the dispenser, wipes the sweat off her forehead with her right hand, and holds on to her chest with her left...)

RUBY:
I can't take this.. WAIT!!! WAIT!!! i am really sweating! FUCK YOU!!!

(she wipes off more sweat and fans herself with the soiled napkin)

RUBY:
okok... what!!! GOD...

REN:
I, am….

(silence)

REN:
officially….

(silence)

REN:
BABIFIED.

(I stretched to pick her jaw up from the floor. She reached across the table for a Marlboro fix. And she ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS had to beg for a stick because I always gave her grief about reaching out for one. She didn’t bother asking me this time. I let it pass because i was just too busy laughing!)

RUBY:
I Hate you!!!! How can you lie to this face! (points to herself) this face! THHHHHIS FACE!

(she’s not a smoker.. So it’s quite a comical sight. Her fingers tremble when she lights one up or takes a drag. And the shaking was much worse now.)

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

RUBY:
FUCK YOU!!! I AM REALLY PISSED OFF WITH YOU!!!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

(she shakes as she grabs her full glass of beer)

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

RUBY:
SHUT UP!!!! I FEEL LIKE A FOOL!

REN:
IT’S FUNNY!

RUBY:
IT’S NOT FUNNY! The joke is on ME!!!!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Please babe.. don’t be angry… understand me…

RUBY:
You’re a liar, that’s what you are… a fucking liar!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

RUBY:
I hate you now… don’t come near me..

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Aw… please???? Don’t fold your arms… you’re usually dancing to this music… move your arms.. Want me to fondle your breasts?

RUBY:
FUCK YOU!!! You’re not getting anywhere near my breasts!

(my face in her breasts and tickling them)


REN:
Koochiekoochiekoo! puki poo? I love you???!!!!

RUBY:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
FUCK LAH! Get lost you!!!

REN:
And you say you can smell a cock on anyone from a mile away… huh!

RUBY:
BITCH! So when? How? Who? Details!

REN:
A Wednesday I remember.. Because I attended this event at a pub.

RUBY:
FUCK YOU!!!!

REN:
Everything is a blur now... I went out and didn’t tell you. I really want it to remain unpolluted.. So all you have to know is…he was babi, it was sweet, and it was fucking amazing!!!!

RUBY:
YOU BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY PUKI BUDDY!!!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Don’t be angry with me baby… pleeeeeeeeease? I’ll pinch your puki to make you feel better…

RUBY:
FUCK YOU!!!!!! DON’T TOUCH ME!!!!!

REN:
But really babe, other than that, I HAVE been celibate since I met you..

RUBY:
FUCK YOU! Who believes you now??? You lying Bitch!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Many hilarious moments are getting lost. That’s why I was thinking if I ever decided to tell you, I wanted to do it on MSN.. This conversation, your reactions, my reactions, are fucking PRICELESS!!!!

RUBY:
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUR PUKI! So tell me you bitch, tell me…

REN:
I'm just saying enough, for me to not resign from the s-word...
Han, an Indonesian Chinese. Han and I used to hang out with a mutual friend, but since he moved back to Indonesia a few years ago, we hardly kept in contact.

RUBY:
BITCH!!! Then???

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Then nothing... It was Han.
And I SWEAR, my declaration was the FURTHEST thing from my mind..

RUBY:
FUCK LAH!!!

REN:
I want it to remain as a sweet memory, k?
Hahahahaha.... Anyway, Babi lips after 8 years taste great! So Han (not that you know about this blog), you are part of the s-word history!

Let’s screw the analysis Rube, and don’t ask me more… because I’ll break into a fit! Maybe if we receive an influx of requests for details, i might relent. Haha!

I've unintentionally confirmed a few personal beliefs and I'm happy about it.

But the important thing is, Ren is babi-fied, and back in business baby!

Relationships with milo, horlicks, green tea, soya milk, chin chow… WWWHATEVER. My dating market has expanded. Woohoo!

So! When are we going grocery shopping? That tin of milo is looking delicious..

Go Ahead, Make Our Day!

RUBY:
Wednesday is always my favourite day to fuck..
Next to Friday and Saturday.
BEST FUCK DAY.. Wednesday!








REN:
any day is fucking day man.. you’re talking cock again..

RUBY:
nono.... i have a preference..
i like screwing on Wednesday

REN:
best days for me are when the guy brings me to such a high, that I don’t give a shit about what the fuck the day is..

me a NYMPHO? Ohh the drama!

Ruby Speaks :

Guy wants girl who’s nympho
Guy gets nympho
Guy has sex with nympho
Guy thinks nympho is a whore
Guy no longer likes that girl is nympho
Guy brags to other guys that girl is nympho
Guy tells nympho “not tonight honey I have a headache”
Nympho beats the shit out of guy with a bamboo pole

Ok, except for that last line, I get this crap all the time. Apparently I am a nympho.

I never really thought of myself that way. Although looking back I can see it was kind of inevitable. When I was nine I started masturbating. When I was thirteen I was so horny I didn’t know what to do with myself so I just masturbated more. First blow job at fifteen. Lost virginity at sixteen (and I was the one who pressured my boyfriend into it). Between serious boyfriends at age of 22, became a player.

By that time I’d gotten so much shit that I figured I might as well have the fun that goes with it.
My first boyfriend told me I liked sex too much and that was skanky behavior.My 2nd boyfriend told me I liked sex too much and couldn’t I make less of a deal of it? My current partner told me I like sex too much and he can't keep up with me!

Statements like this me want to cry and then go to the gym and slam weights. WHY THE HYPOCRISY? Why do guys say you want a girl who wants as much sex as a guy and then when you get it you change your mind??

Why does nympho = slut??

My advise :
DON’T ASK FOR A NYMPHO IF YOU CAN’T FUCKING HANDLE IT.

Before Sunrise / Sunset = Before Shagging

*REN speaks:

I'm thinking of buying the dvds. This is one of those movies I can expect to discover new subtleties each time I watch it.

BEFORE SUNRISE (1995): Jesse (Ethan Hawke) meets Celine (Julie Delpy) on the train. Both in their 20s. They take a risk by spending a day with each other before parting.

- first eye contact, shying away from eye contact, stealing glances.
- they discuss about feelings, opinions, life, romance, and sex.
- they "fall in love" through conversation, and subconsciously reveal their attraction for each other through body language.

BEFORE SUNSET (2004 sequel): 9 years later, now in their 30s, they meet again..

Naturally, both matured over the years…
But they each return feeling somewhat jaded from what life threw at them during this time. They carry emotional baggage from the choices they made and bear regrets from unspoken feelings and lost opportunities.

However, ONE thing remains unchanged - the same sexual tension still rings in the air.
****************************************************************************

The 2 movies are actually mainly made up of the couple’s conversations. Nothing else really happens. But frankly, I can hardly remember what they spoke about, but it's not so much what they said, but rather how they interacted with each other.

I can’t help but feel that sometimes if you sleep with a guy too soon, you’ll be setting yourself up for an early disappointment... Both sexually and emotionally. The chapter might end before you can even turn a page. But I guess sometimes it’s all about taking a risk. Because the worse thing to happen is getting to a stage where you question yourself the what-ifs.

This is what Ruby might say, "I don't see the point of all this.. That's why! you should just do it, do it, do it! Waste time with all this conversation!. Wait 9 years, regret.. for what fuck?"
Hahahahaha… She's probably right though..

But I still can't shake off the notion that such conversations do stir an amazing blend of fiery passion and romantic nuance, building an epitome of physical and emotional intimacy.

The way I see it, it’s the ultimate foreplay...

It’s the Thrill of the Chase Rube!

REN speaks:
Ruby got annoyed with
"Ren Romanticizes Sex… Again" (this previous entry).
Her blood boils when I begin to place as much emphasis on sexual energy as on the act itself.

RUBY:
I GIVE UP!

REN:
haha...

RUBY:
seriously. u know what i think. ur giving it tooo much thought. i got sick reading it. you're never gonna get laid.

REN:
Haha… i'm not saying fucking is bad.. fucking is gooooooood.
it's just that i love relishing in the natural high of courtship. it might be brief, but sexual tension is to die for sometimes.
frustrating......... yet, oddly addictive.

RUBY:
i read it and i get stressed. seriously. me not jOking! really.

REN:
Why stressed? I told you, I’m NOT saying he has to be perfect. All I’m saying is, I like someone who possesses those intense emotions every now and then.. someone who can take a step back to recognize the beauty of the simple things in life.. someone who doesn't forget the pleasure of stopping to smell the roses from time to time..
these are some of the things that inspire writing, poetry, lyrics, melody, music, relationships, romance...

and most importantly, and I firmly believe,
it reflects in way he makes love...
the way, WE, make love..

Ren Romanticizes Sex… Again.

REN speaks:
Some men are just “Innately born” with the ability to radiate sensuality..
It’s not the looks, it’s not the physique. I’ll tell you what fucking kills me sometimes:

The way he looks at me - lustful yet non-invasive.

His personality - matured yet child-like

His mind - intelligent yet not arrogantly so

His speech - smooth yet not pretentious

His lips - twitches them teasingly, his cheeky grin bursts into to a sexy laugh

He glamorizes the sun, the sea, the sand, the sex…

He relishes in the drizzle, the downpour, the lightning, the thunderstorm…

The way he smokes his cigarette -

he picks the pack up. He slides a stick up to his lips and firmly fires the it up . He draws in a puff, smoking like it was honey. He flicks the ash off swiftly with his thumb.. He’s now ready for another drag. Before he can take a second puff, he unexpectedly catches a glimpse of you. He loses his rhythm. He pauses for a few seconds. He interrupts his smoke for an exchange of flirty smiles. He continues to finish up his cigarette but remains pleasantly affected from the intense moment. Leaving his body, his heart and his mind unsettled for awhile, for a long while...

Shit, I’m spasming.. Sorry, I got carried away.

I’m such a dreamer, I always lose sight of my point..

S-word Sisters Talking Cock

Ruby and Ren at work on MSN this afternoon..














RUBY:
having tea

REN:
I’m having coffee.. i'm listening to il divo now
i don't know why, i feel fucking hot today

RUBY:
ur in heat!

REN:
I swear to you.. i'm drinking my coffee like i'm making love to it.


RUBY:
ur a babi in HEAT.. u just need to hump something..
go to that single guy over there and say....
"hello handsome"
then go try lahh

REN:
WHAT??? on a babi!!! You got to be nuts!
listening to french songs now.. fucking sexy

RUBY:
ok should i call frenchie?
make u even more sexy? hahaha
he can say something in french to make u go crazy..

REN:
no way

RUBY:
hahaha

REN:
i can't say i like french accent

RUBY:
give u his h/p number!
hahaha

REN:
NO.
i am THAT sure. NO.

RUBY:
u like INDIAN accent..
haaha

REN:
no way! Fuck you!

RUBY:
Hahahaha

REN:
Hang on.. me putting on me Lush CHOCOLATE lip balm.. mmmmmm…
Puki man.. I’m fucking a damn moisturizer.

Ren's Mr Right

Ruby mentioned in this previous entry:

-quote-

A friend once told me that there was an Indian saying that went, "The perfect woman would be someone who can cook like a chef, nurture like a mother, Nurse like a doctor and fuck like a prostitute." hahaha! After hearing it.. i dunno if he was just being crude but i think i got my bases covered.

-unquote-

**REN speaks:

trust the indians to come up with this...

ALTHOUGH! I think this just about sums up what I want in a man. So, is there any guy out there who wants to spend his lifetime working for me?

Ha! and people wonder why i'm still single.

Still Seeking a Cure

RUBY:
the vibrator is not doing it?
work it until battery flat!
hahahaa!!

REN:
haven't used it in a long while

RUBY:
Fuck lahh!
WHIP that fucker out!

REN:
i think we should get that handy version.. the one i got for Leia's birthday.
i felt the vibration on that one.. more powerful than the big one i have man!
can spaz just holding it in your hand

RUBY:
hahahahaha

REN:
serious!

RUBY:
REAAAALLY
power man

REN:
yeah!

RUBY:
buy!

REN:
yeah! fuck the perfumes..

RUBY:
truly.. sacrifice

REN:
we're broke as hell, but no second thoughts on spending on dildos
apa jer..
but a man to play it with.. hoo!

RUBY:
hahaha

REN:
fuck man!
puki! you're supposed to help me keep my mind off it.

RUBY:
CUMMMM!
then..
nobody stopping
u cum u feel better for fuck sake!

REN:
one day we should do that.. cum together on MSN. HAHAHA!!

RUBY:
hahahahaa
die manz!

REN:
that'll be fun!

RUBY:
imagine! 'Ren and me had virtual sex.
we came together"
hahaha

REN:
pull out our dildos together
fuck, i need to get a webcam

RUBY:
hahahaa... only how much!
that would be a good picture for constantine!

REN:
there you go about constantine again.. who exactly do you want me to fuck? frenchie, japanese, white/indian... i don't even remember their names.. you prostitutin' me?? you just won't rest until i fuck huh?
puki you!

RUBY:
go get it!
CONSTANTINE!

REN:
are you fucking mad??!

RUBY:
SPAS!
ahaha

REN:
PUKI! stop it! you're supposed to help me DESENSITIZE it! fuck you!

RUBY:
fuck Constantine’s face.. Do it do it!!
hahahaa

REN:
fuck YOU!
I’ll fuck YOUR face!

RUBY:
hahahaha!! I’m waiting only!

REN:
your lips nice to fuck eh..

RUBY:
yeah.. i think i got nice plump lips..
very kissable..
dun u agree?

REN:
if i had a cock, you'll be living there
i'll make sure you eat, breathe and live my cock. HAHHA!!

RUBY:
can be arranged. Get a cock!
GO!

REN:
fuck man! desensitize, desensitize, desensitize...

RUBY:
calm?

REN:
i know, i know!
think of the ah bengs last night

RUBY:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

REN:
WOAH! it works!



RUBY:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

REN:
it fucking works!

Ruby's Givin' up on Me! Oh well, What's a Girl to do?

RUBY:
i want u to bonk

REN:
Hahahahaha…

RUBY:
but u never listen to me.

REN:
no one to fuck babe.. old cocks sacked. new cocks no can do..

RUBY:
u keep on saying that lah.. u so picky

REN:
yeah.. what to do.. fuck man.

RUBY:
u want frenchie

REN:
no

RUBY:
that one must be huge

REN:
no

RUBY:
very fast can arrange.

REN:
no

RUBY:
hahaha

REN:
not my type at all.. even if it's just physical

RUBY:
i was just about to say its only for cock
who would u want to do?

REN:
i don't know
i'm so full of shit sometimes

RUBY:
yeah..
how u gonna get fucking laid like that
i feel like giving up already
hahhaa

REN:
ah ya.. you know.. it seems like i'm picky.. but i don't think i ask for much
or am i really picky…
but it's hard to find someone whom i'm comfortable with
i want a buddy, who can fuck.. NOT a fuck buddy though.
that's all I ask.

RUBY:
actually me too!

REN:
i don't need a fucking animal
i want someone chilled out....
like me really..

RUBY:
hahaha
uh-huh..
i think u need someone uncomplicated.

Is it infactuation?

Ruby speaks :

Since i met Ted, i am a hopeless bubble gum mess. I can't stop thinking about him and i'm starting to do things completely out of character. Its been a month and i have refused / turned down a number of gorgeous cocks even Ren has trouble believing! She has checked my forehead, fussed over me like i was sick and of cos give me generous doses of her all time favourite thing to do now, SLAPS! But nothing seems to be able to get me out of this mode that i've been in.

I've spent two weekends and two weekdays over at Ted's and he says that i spoil him to the core. I admit i do! After each night of hard mind-blowing merry-making. I would actually wake up and whip him up a good breakfast /lunch/ dinner. In two weekends i have made : Omeletes and Ham, Pancakes and Bananas, Mee Goreng, Sandwiches, French Toast and Spaghetti Bolognaise! His kitchen became my territory!

I enjoy spoiling him, its scary.. I feel like i have entered a domestic partnership and its completely alright. I make him tea, sit with him while he watches TV, make the bed, clean the house and i feel like i am in my element! What the Fuck is going on? I do a manic dance after i put down the phone with him.

Ren saw the dance yesterday and it got her disgusted. She told me to get a hold of myself. Eeeshh. Where is the bad girl? she has definately not been home this past month!

I think if anything were to happen and i end it.. i'm probably gonna be crushed and have a mad bonking spreee. I fell off the treadmill thinking about this man for GOODNESS SAKE! I pressed the start button on the treadmill but think my brain was too busy that it didn't receive the signal. My feet didn't respond thus resulting in me sliding off the treadmill. I landed on my knees hit my forehead against the floor! It was like demonstration video gone bad!I just wanted to bury her head in the floor and die.. Oh well.. Could this be love?

A friend once told me that there was an Indian saying that went, "The perfect woman would be someone who can cook like a chef, nurture like a mother, Nurse like a doctor and fuck like a prostitute." hahaha! After hearing it.. i dunno if he was just being crude but i think i got my bases covered.

Bad Girls

Ruby Speaks :

What exactly about bad girls that drive men wild? I thought about it for a while and rummaged through my memory bank of all the other bad girls i know. A messy desk with a few pieces of crumpled paper later, i have come to the following conclusions :

1. The Bad Girl's ability to be great fun is on top of the list. We can party all night and probably party the next day too. We laugh a lot and are fond of flirting. Anybody can feel like a professional lady-killer when hanging out with us.

2. Bad girls have an optimistic attitude to life. We are full of energy. We tend to not indulge in self-analysis. Thus, falling into a period of depression is out of the question. To us, Life is a never-ending show.

3. Bad girls are hungry for sex. We enjoy sexual experimentation. We will do anything you want and maybe more than you want us to do. Our screams of joy will make you think you are really hung like a stud.

4. Bad girls are sexy. We may not be the prettiest or the tallest of the lot but we radiate confidence. Nothing spells SEXY more than a confident woman.

Some girls are born bad and others simply learn the art. I am the latter and am not afraid to admit it. I learnt the art of being bad by choice. After 2 long term relationships i decided that maybe i should turn the tables and use and abuse men before they could do the same to me. Fuck like a man i'd say. But after a year. I think i'm tired. time for me to throw in the towel? perhaps.

Tell me i'm a dirty girl..

Ruby Speaks :

A SPASMIC attack after lunch is never a good thing. It was brought to my attention that this chunk of man was checking me out at lunch. I looked over, caught sight of his eyes and immediately my body responded. I think he could tell cause he looked directly at me and he was ready to eat me up.

Got back to my desk, my vagina is throbbing like it has its own pulse, my ears are burning up and the only thing i wanna be is a dirty girl. Times like this, i need a man to take control.

My thoughts on what i want him to tell me as he watches me from across the room :

You're being a bad girl again, aren't you.
Do you want to get off?
I know you do.
I can see you there right now,
I can see exactly what you're doing,
so I know what a dirty girl you are,
what you do when you think no-one is watching you,
how you touch yourself,
thinking no-one can see you.

I can see you.
I'm watching you.
And I know you're getting aroused.
I know you're getting wet.
I know you're touching yourself, down there, between your legs, where it feels good.

You think I can't see you, but I can.
I know exactly what you're doing.
Dirty little girl.

If you keep misbehaving like that,I'm going to have to spank you.
Spank you very, very hard.
And if you keep misbehaving, I'll have to teach you a lesson.

I'll tie you down onto the bed, very tightly.
You won't be able to move, won't be able to struggle.

Then I'll show you what happens to dirty little girls like you.

I'll fuck you, hard, over and over again. But I won't let you come.

If you try and come I'll spank you.
I'll take you for my own pleasure.
I'll take you any way I please.

And then I'll cum all over you,
spurting my cum all over your belly,
over your breasts,
all over your pretty little face.

Then I'll leave you there, tied up on the bed like that, naked, wet and trembling, my cum dripping down your body, like the dirty little girl you are.

So you'd better behave.

Take Precaution for Spasms.. ‘Cos it’s Fucking Contagious!

REN speaks:

I must have done something good in my life, because I don’t know how Rube can still love me.

I verbally abuse her, she giggles.
I physically slap her, she laughs.
I tell her to shut her face, she clenches her lips and turns away.
Whenever we make plans to meet, I wouldn’t give her that extra hour after work to go to the gym. I curse at her, saying, “fuck you! forget it! I’m making other plans! Don‘t waste my freakin‘ time!!“ She asks for a compromise, promising to wrap up in 45 minutes.. And I continue to curse.. threatening that she’s off my friends list. And she gives in!

The shit she puts up for me isn’t funny. She’s a puki buddy for life. HAHAHAHA!!

So there was I, waiting at BQ bar yesterday evening. Absolutely no one was in there. I was still relishing in my spasm spree.. I almost dropped my phone while messaging her (that wouldn’t be the first time). My fingers trembled upon my first sip of white wine. I threw my head on the table, just trying to get a grip on myself.
She arrives.

REN:
Hey baby! You havin’ beer? I’m spasming by the way.

RUBY:
HAHAHAHA!

REN:
I’m trying to numb the puki again..

(Ruby was going on and on about Ted.. This is what she said..)

RUBY:
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…

REN:
Uh huh…

RUBY:
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…

REN:
Uh huh…

RUBY:
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…

REN:
Uh huh…
Urgh… (spasm)

RUBY:
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…

REN:
Urgh…

RUBY:
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…

REN:
Urgh…
Urgh…
Urgh…
Rube, I’m not listening to your bull.. I’m in my own Urgh… world.

RUBY:
Puki lah you!

REN:
Fuck man.. You know, I feel like I could do anyone, but when it comes down to it, I still can’t.. fuck man..

RUBY:
What’s your problem woman?? If you have needs, just do it! Do it! Do it!

REN:
Fuck man.. I’m just going to drink it away.. (picks up wine glass, still trembling.. Almost spitting it out..) urgh!

(I think we almost share the same puki. Because my spasms were apparently dangerously contagious. Frankly, I don’t think we remember what we were chatting about.. All we remembered was... our mouths were moving, but we were in actuality talking to ourselves. Separately. I was on the brink of pulling my hair out, when suddenly 2 pieces of cheese shot out of Ruby’s mouth..)

REN:
What the fuck!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

RUBY:
HAHAHAHAHAA!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

RUBY:
HAHAHAHAHAA!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

RUBY:
HAHAHAHAHAA!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

RUBY and REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

(I was swaying to the tacky music on my bar stool. Rube was talking about god knows what..)

RUBY:
Blah, blah, blah…

REN:
Rube, gimme 3 more sways, I’m there.

RUBY:
Puki la you!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Puki freakin’ tense babe..

RUBY:
Well, if you won’t help yourself, what can I do?

*We decided to wrap up after 2 drinks (which is TOTALLY unheard of) when my friend text messaged me about joining her and her friends at another pub. Rube didn’t mind, so we got off our pukis, ran some errands, and took a train to (we took the train so you can imagine how sober we were when all that was taking place) the next watering hole. We got there, and said our hellos. Most of them were babis.

REN turns to RUBY:
Rube, I’m cured. I’m not kidding. I feel like I have no puki. FUCK MAN.

RUBY:
I know!!!!

REN:
I can’t believe this.. Not a single shit.. No nerves.. This IS an instant cure man.. But now I’m suffering from vaginal depression. Fuck. Let’s get the hell out of here.
***************************************
We came home and Rube beeps me on MSN:

RUBY:
Jason (half white, half indian) is on the msn with me.. telling him bout u!
Hahaha! Selling u to him

REN:
my puki is not workiing now. shit man

RUBY:
its ok!

REN:
i think we have more fun on our own

RUBY:
uh-huh!

REN:
i can spasz out with you

RUBY:
bad sial! Kiekie thank you thank you! hahahahaha
isn't it great! hahaha
i am telling jason.. that i am high and he needs to start talking dirty

REN:
indian name jason! Wtf!

RUBY:
Hahah jason robinson.. u will like!

REN:
puki

RUBY:
marjorie robinson -sim

REN:
puki.. It’s an SPG name.. i like exotic names man
ask him to change his name. hahahah!!

RUBY:
i'll send u his picture.. hang on..
wait!

(i open the photo file)

REN:
fucking ang mo man
where's the exotic blood?
hahahaha...

RUBY:
yeah.. but he has very indian eyes.. hahaha

REN:
that's true.. he IS cute

RUBY:
the only thing indian about him is his whiskey gene!
hahaha... i know u would like..

REN:
hahaha... me LOVE.. me like indian/italian features, but NONE of the accent, NONE of the typical eccentricities... the rest of him could be white-like.. woah... BEST!

RUBY:
think his cock so big ah! take picture like that..
hahahaha... handsome bugger.. 17.5 cm.. he's thick!

REN:
well, he's indian, so he MUST be big.. hahaha..
he IS a cute fucker i have to say..

RUBY:
his idea of dirty talk..
“JASON says:
did u think about my 17,25cm long and thick cock?”

REN:
eeeeyew.... that's YOUR kind of dirty talk. me no like..
your kind is either damn dirty like this, or damn nerdy like ted

RUBY:
hahahaha

REN:
i like talk that keeps me awake man

RUBY:
i would take ted’s talk anyday.. Hahaha.. u kw the best bit..
with ted i can laugh when i am screwing him. hahaha

REN:
yeah, that's the best. me love that too...
but the act of turning on.. is an art. words and language fucking turns me on man..
what i like...not too straightforward, not to childish.. not too direct, yet not too pretentious.
god.. I’m sooooo hard to please..

RUBY:
tell me about it!!! geez....

REN:
fuck.. spasms coming back.

*fuck for thought: we all know what to do for safe sex.. but is there a protection device to fight against spasms? because it's freakin' airborne!!

Scent of a Woman

REN:
yesterday i really felt like buying perfume.. i'm still obsessed over RUSH.. the first one. gucci

RUBY:
hahaha



REN:
was yea..........................rning for it man

RUBY:
i still love the scent of... glamorous by ralph lauren

REN:
don't our preferences say something about our character hahaha
who’s coming to town, i want RUSH man.

RUBY:
hahaha

REN:
fuck, i won't rest until i get it

RUBY:
yeah! The first thing i'll buy when i get paid. my treat item for the month. a bottle of Glamorous.

REN:
if a man gives me RUSH now, me fuck him straightaway! Hahahahahah!

RUBY:
wouldn't i know it!

Is Ruby in a Relationship?

RUBY:
good morning. i think i may be in love. guess what happened? i fell off the treadmill this morning.
REN:
Hahahahah..

RUBY:
i pressed the start button on the treadmill but think my brain didn't receive the signal... my feet didn't respond and i slided off the treadmill landed on my knees and hit my forehead against the floor! It was like demonstration video gone bad man! Think the 2 men beside me got a shock when they heard the thud! Bunny just wanted to bury her head in the floor and die.. hahahaa! So i stay down with my head on the floor and when i looked up.. there were 5 people ard me asking me if i was alright.. flashed them a groggy smile and told them.. yeah.. i'm ok.. Looks like i dun need my coffee to wake up today! they were all giggling...

REN:
is your head ok.. poor baby

RUBY:
my forehead is ok i think . least i still could walk out of the gym with dignity.. but i didn't run though... going back tonight. after work.

REN:
i fell on the stairs last night, guess how many steps..

RUBY:
how many?

REN:
ONE step UP.

RUBY:
chibai! Hahaha! drunk ahhh!

REN:
Heehee… my stair lights weren't working and i thought i could manage. my shins are bruised. skin peeling.. but I'm laughing

RUBY:
hahahaha! yeah.. me too! me laughing as well..

REN:
i'm fair, so i bruise very easily . hahahahaha! Er…. puki acting up again!
hahahahahah! baaaaddd PUKI!

RUBY:
down puki
let me have a word with it! Hahaha.. will slap some sense into it..

REN:
you turning it on man! puki you!
but today is not as bad as yesterday

RUBY:
I think it was the alcohol.

REN:
i told you it would numb the puki

RUBY:
chebai u.. u know.. i think teddy was still at work lahh last nite.. when i called so he didnt pick up..then by the time i feel asleep.. he msg me.. told me he just got home.. now watching tv and eating the pasta that i left for him in the fridge on Sunday..Then he went nite nite sweetie.. sleep tight! WAAAAHHHCOWWZ what is this man!

REN:
oi! Why in hell you telling me this for? waste time! puki!

RUBY:
i got no more sweet nothings e-mails.. is the romance over. cos once romance is over.. that's when the relationship starts right? hahahahaha

REN:
oh.. you were trying to make a point.. hahahaha

RUBY:
ahhh then! wise one pls give counsel

REN:
HAHAHAHA! thought you wanted to waste my tme again.. hahaha

RUBY:
fuck lahh! would i do tat to my puki buddy.

REN:
Hahahahaha… told you it's a relationship

RUBY:
hmmm.. i am not sure but yesterday.. i felt it in the sms man!

REN:
nothing wrong

RUBY:
in your experience of dating... DATING>>>> how often would a man call or sms? i haven't been dating much..

REN:
everyday. Why must you keep count.. geeez…

RUBY:
i dun even remember what the beginning of a relationship feels like..

REN:
for fuck's sake, just ask. if i feel it has gotten to a stage where I need to know, and the guy hasn’t made himself absolutely clear, i'll ask. otherwise i wouldn't know if i'm cheating. there was one guy who grabbed me in a pub.. he got angry when i was out with someone else.. he bruised my arm that night. i said.. wtf we're not in a relationship! learned my lesson then.. no one should just ASSUME!!! I won’t assume anything, and neither should anyone else.. oh well, that’s me.

The Puki has a Pulse

Ren speaks:
i wonder if i have a medical condition..

Ruby and me on MSN in the morning:

REN:
PUKI!
fuck!
fuck!
fuck!
FUCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RUBY:
what? what happened? what happened??????

REN:
fucking horny!

RUBY:
cheeebaii lahhh! (pussy in Chinese)
i thought wat emergency!!!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Hahahahha!!puki hurting like fuck..
if a man were to just look into my eyes now, i'll cum.. no man better don't mess with me today
Been suffering since i woke up man.. puki tense as fuck

RUBY:
cheebai.. really.. wahhhcowz.. this is bad.

REN:
it's reeeeeeeeeeeeally bad

RUBY:
Wah… that tense ahh..

REN:
fuck man! nobody better say good morning to me today.
i'll be spaszed out.. puki!
what's wrong with my body today?

RUBY:
horny.. u need a drink?
hahaha

REN:
i don't normally smoke at work, or without drinks, but i just had to have one just now.. it doesn't freakin work man! fuck!

RUBY:
u need a stronger blow..

REN:
I think I must smoke through the puki!

RUBY:
i think so tooo..

REN:
HOW?????

RUBY:
puki needs to relax.

REN:
heeheehooheeheehooheeheehoo

RUBY:
go fuck urself lahhh!
PEEE PEEE BREAK

REN:
fuck, i have to go home man

RUBY:
gooo..ooooo

REN:
i can't!

RUBY:
after u cum.. u will feel better.
hahahaha

REN:
i know.. but i can't leave.. puki.
how?
how?
how?

RUBY:
dun how how..
relax lahhh!
me think..

REN:
nobody better call my name..

RUBY:
hahahhaaha

REN:
arghhhh!!!!! i'm dying!

RUBY:
YEAAAHHH!

REN:
shit man. fuck

RUBY:
HEEEELOOOO HANSOME!

REN:
no time for small talk man.. fuck

RUBY:
ok.. whorehouse?
u want? Hahaha!

REN:
i think so man.. hahahaha!
shit..

RUBY:
wahhh! that tense ahhh?

REN:
hahahahahaha!
pukeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

RUBY:
i am having a dilemma myself..

REN:
sorry, i don't give a fuck about your dilemma now
i can't concentrate..

RUBY:
Run and run..
Run and run..
alas! u must fuck

REN:
hahahahahaha!!!!
i should go drink and numb the puki.
the moment i can skip out, i will.
drink a bottle and be too tired to even fuck myself

RUBY:
u think that will work?
i am spasming out just thinking bout ur problem..
hahaha
suddenly my puki also tense..
i can feel goosepimples!

REN:
hahahaha
you feel my puki baby?
Hehehehe…

RUBY:
feeling it now..
bloody contagious!

REN:
HAHAHAHA!!!!

RUBY:
seeeee... me fucking getting replays in my head about my bonk sessions...
FUCK U laaahhhh!
i got lots to do today..

REN:
if anyone touches one strand of my hair today, i'll literally die
die
die
die
no one better call my name now
fuck man.. i need to go home

RUBY:
slow down woman..
u are panicking..

REN:
heart beating

RUBY:
SLOOOOWWWWW DOWNNN!

REN:
My puki has a pulse

RUBY:
SLOOOW DOWN>>>
uh-huh..
Deeeeep breaths...

REN:
pulsating puki.. what the fuck!

RUBY:
BReaaathhhh in....................
Breath out..
lets talk about something else..
NO PUKI talk..

REN:
yeah..

RUBY:
cos ur making me feel a bit hot and heavy here..

REN:
i can't think of anything else!

RUBY:
and i dun wanna ravage ted tonight..

REN:
slap me!

RUBY:
okok...

REN:
slap me with a cock!
hahahahaha!

RUBY:
how about how nice ur favorite wine taste..

REN:
okay.
hmmmm.. nope, doesn't work
i'm imagining cock for company

RUBY:
okok.. how bout me telling u how sweet my teddy is...
that should bore u to tears.. i am loving his bed even more...
Loving his everything.. fucker got into my head.
now i dun wanna fuck anything or anyone but HIM..

REN:
i am so not in the mood to entertain this nonsense

RUBY:
kan ni nahhhh! (mother-fucker in Chinese)
CHowwww cheeeeeeeeeeeeeee Byyyyyyy (smelly pussy in Chinese)

REN:
hahahaha!
shaking man… fuck!
fingers trembling on the keyboard..
i think i know what i would do

RUBY:
what

REN:
go to chinatown for lunch
instant cure! Surrounded by babis.. desensitize the puki..
fuck.

The Difference Between Fucking and Making love

REN:
actually you know what Rube..

RUBY:
what?

REN:
i like normal fucks. you know what i mean

RUBY:
yeahhh!

REN:
i seriously don't consider myself super hot stuff.. i like normal comfortable fucks

RUBY:
GOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.. me also what...

REN:
thrills and frills every now and then of course.. but standard real fucks are great!
THEY are the spasmic ones. for me.
i'm not kidding. Naughty games are naughty games.. But I like comfortable sex. If you know what I mean..

RUBY:
uh-huh!

REN:
fucks should be beautiful.

RUBY:
couldn't agree more with u..hahahaha

REN:
wah...

RUBY:
u think i am dirty all the time? hahahaha

REN:
thought so.. Hahahaha..

RUBY:
i mean.. i went down on the man in the kichen.. while he was doing laundry lahh
and he's begging me half the time to rest..hahaha…

REN:
THAT's OK!.. That’s not out of the ordinary. that's definitely in the normal beautiful fuck category.. well, to us maybe..hahaha..
Hmmm.. remind me.. What was my point then? what did i mean? hahaha! I was talking cock huh? YEAH!! WHAT THE FUCK was i talking about??? hahahaha!

RUBY:
Hahaha!! yeahhh

REN:
Hmmmm… i guess i meant, i don't really yearn for a super animalistic fuck

RUBY:
hahaha... uh-huh...
i should take it easy ehhh? maybe Not fuck Ted so much..
hahahahahahaha

REN:
why deprive yourself? that's ok..

RUBY:
Hahahah.. u think so?

REN:
of course!

RUBY:
ok.. i think i shall just sms Ted once a day till friday..
Hahaa.. he works till late manz... yeahhhh! that day...on friday.. he worked till 1230+
i told u right.. he got home.. so tired.

REN:
that friday, i got picked up by a babi at the bar. Got his number. he was pretty ok actually... but I just couldn’t man. power failure.. no electricity.

RUBY:
Hahahaha! puki! ...which babi..

REN:
stranger.. don't know..

RUBY:
u just making excuse..

REN:
What am I making an excuse for?

RUBY:
mm... dunno.. maybe u not interested... Psychological. Hahaha!

REN:
you think so?

RUBY:
Yeahh. i do...sometimes when ur t interested.. u just zone out.. don't do anything to help ur chances..

REN:
Then i got another babi’s number too.. he was quite attractive.. I wasn't irritated with him.. Some American born Chinese.. one of those in the party.. that one wasn’t a pickup. but i was just imagining for the hell of it.. i can't do it man..

RUBY:
shit man... i need to get u laid..

REN:
hahahahaha.. nah...

RUBY:
Read in s-word that u think the frenchie from that night was cute.. u want him???
take lahhh! sometimes i dun believe my luck with men..

REN:
no way! not my type at all.

RUBY:
uh-huh! but he was cute lahhh!

REN:
That, he was

RUBY:
i would have to give it to him.. beautiful eyes... i can imagine fucking him..

REN:
but not the kind i would like

RUBY:
he has a fucking good face to fuck

REN:
i'm not denying it. for sure he IS fuckable, but definitely not for me. not my personal preferred taste for sexy. He’s too out there for me.. Too animalistic.. Too lustful.. He’s the type to go for if you just want to get laid.

RUBY:
Hahahahaha.. yeah.. that one slut lahhh!

REN:
that's why i always go through dry spells. I don’t enjoy just doing it and getting it out of the way.

RUBY:
hahahaa

REN:
In the first place, it’s very hard for me to find someone i will fuck..

RUBY:
uh-huh!!!!

REN:
mild making out is still ok, but i can’t say I enjoy it really. that's why when it comes down to fucking these blatantly sexy types, i wouldn’t go. I’m silly that way. but you still love me right.?? :)

RUBY:
OF COS!

REN:
I prefer SUBTLE sexy. That freakin’ kills me man..
Hoooooo! Sorry, I’m in a zone.. Spasms acting up..
























**REN speaks:
i'm such a fogey. i can't believe i came up with that title for this entry.

I Like Big Cocks and I Cannot Lie

RUBY:
just read your entry about the birthday party. We had the the people ard us fooled!
Hahahaa! u think ur crossing over? i think u are! i kw i'm HOT! Hahaha!!

REN:
nah.. i mean you're hot, but me straight man
me love cock too much

RUBY:
thank you! of cos! i love cock tooo much also manz..

REN:
haha..

RUBY:
as much as i love u.. Hashanah i dun think i can go down on u!
Hahahaa


REN:
i'm not feeling it too..

RUBY:
puki in my mouth.. caNt man!
hahaha

REN:
hahahaha

Ruby Talking Cock

RUBY:
What does it say... if... a man lets u leave ur stuff at his place!

REN:
you're in a relationship girl!

RUBY:
today...i was going to pack my flip flops in the bag.. and he told me to leave em there..

REN:
you got yourself a boyfriend honey!

RUBY:
u think? hahahahahahaa! waaahhhlauuu lahhh!

REN:
That’s good.. you like no

RUBY:
i dunno..me still confused. what does it say if a guy kisses u often, hugs u in public, kisses u in public.

REN:
you got yourself a relationship girl.. what the fuck do i know.. but i think so..

RUBY:
i am weirded out.. but i also dunnooo lehhhh!

REN:
just relax and let it happen

RUBY:
BUT I LIKEEEE TED!

REN:
then what's your problem

RUBY:
yesterday... i think he almost let it slip that he wanted kids.. we were at marina..

REN:
wah... Crazy..

RUBY:
he stopped himself in time. yeah.. we were at marina square...
then they had some kid events..we sat there and watched.. and all tat..
he loves watching kids.. i noticed..
yeahhh! i like...I LIKE
i think he would be a fantastic dad..
u kw...he blows on my tummy...
hahahaa
its so sweet lahhh!

REN:
i used to do that on my ex.. Haha..

RUBY:
Haha.. yeah.. and i can't stop rubbing his tummy..
and rubbing it when he sits on the couch watching tv..
hahaha! ok.. so what does it say when u blow on the tummy!

REN:
nothing man! Why are you reading so much into it! Geeez!!

RUBY:
Hahahahaha! yeahhh! slap me! i am thinking too much..

REN:
yes you are..

RUBY:
i am saying NO to cock! i can't believe it..

REN:
wah... saying no to mr S.. that’s amazing

RUBY:
gorgeous cock.. Hahaha! yeah...saying no to frenchie also..
siibeyyy siow man!

REN:
are you sick? lovesick more like.. ha!

BirthGay Party

REN speaks:

Penny’s birthday party at a pub last Friday:
The last time I met Jay had to be about 8 months ago.

A little background information... Second time I hung out with him since the first time we met… He, Penny and I we were chatting . It went something like this..

****************************************************
PENNY:
I’m actually a very simple girl, with simple needs.

JAY:
Yeah.. you’re easy to figure out.. Ren, on the other hand, (sniggers) is ANYTHING, but simple.

REN:
What?? What are you talking about?

JAY:
You’re complex.

REN:
Hmmm… (puzzled, I never know what to say when I get that)

JAY:
You’re not fooling me.. You have this mysterious aura..

REN:
o.........k..... if you say so..

JAY:
Don’t deny it.. Sex, character, personality, whatever.. You only APPEAR quiet.. And you and your long hair.. The way you dress. The way you walk.. The way you move..

REN:
Er.. My hair? (grabbing a handful) This unkempt bunch? I don’t use shit on it. I don’t style it. I rarely use a comb for god‘s sake! The way I dress? You mean this long sleeved shirt, this pair of 7 year old jeans, and this brandless pair of sneakers? And the way I move? it's draagy feet man.. 'cause half the time, i'm still intoxicated from the night before..

JAY:
Hahahahaha… alright, alright, take Penny here.. She fucks like a log.

PENNY:
What??????

JAY:
Yes you do.. I don’t have to fuck you to know..

PENNY:
You’re an idiot.

REN:
That’s mean..

JAY:
But you! Ren! You’re a firecracker!

REN:
How the fuck will you know that? You hardly know me.

JAY:
I just know.

REN:
You’re so full of shit. And I’m telling you now.. I‘m a normal fucker.

JAY:
You’re subtle and all that crap, but you’re something else in bed. And I repeat.. You’re ANYTHING, but simple. No one knows with you..

REN:
You’re demented.
****************************************************
Jay never let elements of this conversation rest whenever we hung out. So we meet again at this party after 8 months. Rube was my date that night. She arrived about 830pm. More than three-quarters of the crowd were babis… so you can imagine our excitement level. Yawn!

Jay arrived about an hour after Ruby. I introduced them. I must have been bored out of my freakin’ mind because after a quick catch up, I went over to Ruby and asked if she was interested in that British cock. . and if she wasn't, would she be interested in helping me pull a fast one on the guy. I gave her a quick rundown of my previous conversations with him, and we decided to let Jay think we were lesbians.

REN:
I’m sorry, I’m just so bored. Let’s do something to entertain ourselves. BUT! If you want his cock, we’ll drop the idea.

RUBY:
Let’s do it!

REN:
Are you sure?

RUBY:
Yes! Let’s do it!

REN:
Only if you are really, really, really sure.. If you want his cock, it’s fine babe..

RUBY:
I’m not going to fuck him Ren. Let’s do it!

So we started getting affectionate. We hugged, we kissed, we danced provocatively. I realized after a few minutes, that we could be playing with fire. Because as we scanned across the room, we felt almost burned by the lustful stares from Black cocks, white cocks, Indian cocks, and even one Chinese chick! It actually got kinda scary so we slowed down.

I started to mingle and Jay came up to me shortly.

JAY:
So! REN! What’s up man?

REN:
nothing‘s up. Same ol‘ same ol…

JAY:
Simple huh?

REN:
What you talkin about?

JAY:
What happened since we last met? What, you turned lesbian now?

REN:
Yeah? You got a problem with that?

JAY:
No, no, no, no.. no problem! but like how? You don’t date men anymore?

REN:
I do, I do.. It’s an awesome world Jay! My market has increased two-fold! But for now, she’s MY chick. So paws off!

JAY: Hahahahahaha!!!
****************************************************
The next morning on msn:

PENNY:
Jay questioned me about whether you were really lesbian.

REN:
Hahahahaha! What did you say?

PENNY:
i said.. no la!

REN:
How were you so sure anyway? Even WE haven’t met in quite awhile.

PENNY:
Nah… I wasn’t convinced. u love guys too much. ****************************************************
Ruby’s trauma:
Turns out, Ruby actually knew one of the guests. A French guy, Michael, one of those who was staring long and hard at us the whole night. He was a cutie I have to say. No, Ruby did not fuck him. I can’t remember why though. She was avoiding him for awhile, and couldn’t believe her bad luck that she had to meet him there.

MICHAEL to RUBY:
You should have just told me you liked women. It’s ok you know.. It’s really ok! ****************************************************
*Ruby’s and Ren’s afterthoughts:

I guess we can be convincing lesbians. Or maybe the men just chose to believe it. Oh well, what was important was that we found our own fun and managed to entertain ourselves that night.

RUBY:
I am soooo not lesbian

REN:
Neither am I man. I couldn’t be one even if I tried. Unless you start growing a cock.

RUBY:
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Inaugural HAPPY PUKI DAY! - 8th June 2006

REN speaks:

Ruby was feeling down yesterday.. I mean for ONCE, she wasn’t responding to my cock-talk. This won’t do… I became worried. I had to meet her and to inject some fucking sense into her... literally.

I was into my second sip of white wine at BQ bar when she arrived, she was looking drained… poor puki.. I tried my best to lift at least a little weight off those cute, sexy, 23 year old shoulders. so i drew her attention to the great cock-pickings at the pub. she was very impressed, but still, she wasn’t checking them out in her usual full force. God, this girl is really sick…

REN:
Close your eyes..

RUBY:
Why? (trying to guess what’s coming..)

REN:
Just close your eyes.

RUBY:
(laughing, not knowing what to expect)

REN:
(I reached for my bag and drew this out. )


















RUBY:
(opened her eyes)
AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! You’re going to make me cry!!!

REN speaks:
Now there’s that zillion dollar smile I was after!

After some cock chit-chat, she decided that 8th June 2006 shall be the first of many PUKI DAYS. It’s an s-word sisterhood pact that we meet on the 8th of every month to celebrate this special day. She took her organizer out, flipped to Saturday, 8th July 2006, and penned this down.. “HAPPY PUKI DAY!”
The night ended with a free round of drinks from the bar. This is kismet!

*This morning on MSN:

RUBY:
i am back to normal.

REN:
puki day did it! YAY!!

RUBY:
i think it must have been the amt of kissing we did!

REN:
Hahahaha… okay, puki day is supposed to be a monthly reminder that we must remain happy puki peas.

RUBY:
LOVVVEEE my puki for organizing it so well!

REN:
I’m glad you enjoyed yourself babe.. shall we blog this official special day?

RUBY:
yeah!

REN:
so wet puki, dry puki, as long as it is a happy puki!
i always need to be a happy puki.. we won't let each other be otherwise k?

RUBY:
OK! SET!

REN:
can see you clapping hands now..
hahahaha…

RUBY:
bad habit manz.. i always clap my hands when i am happy..
i dunno if u noticed.

REN:
me like... i always drink when i'm happy
which is all the time!!! Hahahahaha..

Sense and Predictability

REN speaks:

I was on msn with one of my oldest and "bestest" friends, Yenyen. she was probably the first one to come up to me and said, "REN sounds freakin' suspiciously like you!" I almost spit my rose wine out that day.. haha..

YENYEN:
Yo!

REN:
I just updated the s-word blog.. Go read it!

(she reads...)

YENYEN:
-quote-
I'M CELIBATING UNTIL I FUCK A CHINESE MAN

-unquote-

WTF????

REN:
Haha!!

REN:
Hey, I was having drinks with 3a few my buddies recently, and I was telling them what i thought of them individually, and as a couple and so on.. and we drifted on to the topic of predictability.. then when i said i think i'm predictable.. all of them disagreed

YENYEN:
u r as predictable as change is the only constant...

REN:
Wtf, really! Fuck, when i asked my mum.. "mum, am i unpredictable?"
Without hesitation, she shouted, “YES.”
I do admit, i do things out of character sometimes, but who doesn’t?

YENYEN:
u hv this tendency to do something another way when everyone else thot u would do it this way...

REN:
really? like what?

YENYEN:
like when u were with Chris?

REN:
er huh..

YENYEN:
i honestly thot u were gonna to end up wif him, coz he can give u the lifestyle dat u want.

REN:
oh...

YENYEN:
n he pampers u like a princess, i hope at the very least u remember dat.

REN:
yeah.. he's the nicest guy I’ve ever met.

YENYEN:
i thot u were juz bored, n dat u were gonna stick by him at the end of the day.

REN:
really.. that's interesting..

YENYEN:
but u din... u shook ur life up by breaking up wif him.

REN:
yeah.. it was chaos. 5 years with him man.. i was quite a mess. Felt fucking guilty. STILL do.

YENYEN:
imagine, if u had stuck wif him, wud u hv known all ur indian frens now? travelled as much, seen as much?

REN:
fuck... you're so right.. you are so fucking right

YENYEN:
i dun think so, i think ur world wud juz revolve around him n his family

REN:
yeah.. but nothing wrong with that.. it's just that i didn't want MY life to be that way.. I can die.. yeah man.. fuck.. i will probably turn out to be a snooty bitch

YENYEN:
exactly. so even tho u might not know wat u were looking for, searching for by breaking up. but u knew u had to. n u took the damn chance.

REN:
i was fucking scared you know

YENYEN:
i do give u the thumbs up for daring to do dat. to throw all dat security away n took the chance...

REN:
yeah fuck, i'm so different now.. i mean i always felt it.. but to hear it coming from you is something else. I’m just thinking what i would have been like..
yuck!

YENYEN:

not gonna give u nightmares, i hope???

REN:
shit man.. i was one sad character
nothing to do with him of course.. it was just me WITH him..

YENYEN:
disclaimer : not dat there's anything wrong wif Chris or the type of life he leads.

REN:
nah.. he's the nicest guy ever. we both know that. and he's not at all arrogant
but i think i would have been a bitch.

YENYEN:
ya, juz dat i honestly can't envision a life like dat...

REN:
it was all my fault though. in little ways, of course it was perfect.. my whole life would have been sorted out man.. darn! haha!

YENYEN:
i think u can't stand having ur life sorted out...hence all the shit i've known since college???? *rolls eyes*

REN:
Hehe… This is really fucking interesting...

*REN speaks:

Dear Yenyen,

You’re a sweetheart.. I don’t know if you remember this… but I never forgot your amazing gesture. And I don’t think I ever verbalized my heartfelt appreciation. So I’m doing it now.. When I called from work to tell you I broke up with Chris, you met me straight after, showing up with flowers.
I felt even more messed up. (in a strangely good way though)

i was feeling like a fucking bitch for breaking my boyfriend’s heart. A gem of a guy. He soooo… didn’t deserve it. And I’m freakin getting flowers for it! I realized only yesterday through our conversation that it wasn’t just comfort you were offering, but a recognition of the step I was willing to take to change my life.

I love you yen, MUA!
REN.

The Curse

REN speaks:

Amongst all the cock offers I got during this time, I said no to all of them. I shall and I will continue to abstain from ALL cocks until I at least go out on a date with a Chinese man.
I absolutely REFUSE to believe that all Chinese men are unfuckable. How are all these people getting together then?

I explored this possibility with Rube. And she‘s not denying it. That I’m suffering from a syndrome. I call it THE CURSE OF A GOOD COCK. The best cock I had in my life was 8 years ago. That was when I discovered horny spasms. And I mean, borderline violent convulsions. I lose concentration at work, I lose my sense of direction (and I mean in my own house or at work), I involuntarily grunt, lose my walking rhythm and miss my bus/train stops from intense thoughts. God I miss feeling that frustration. Haha.. But oh well, the guy was alright, but I knew he still wasn’t for me otherwise..

I’m not saying my Mr Right has to match up physically to all that.. Because if I decide to jump into a an exclusive relationship, I believe all that can be taught and communicated. And that goes both ways. But since I’m not interested in flings anymore, I don’t wanna waste time on all that with someone whom I’m not going to see more than twice.

So Ren is yearning for someone to lift this curse.. Someone to embrace the beauty of exploring what makes me tick, what make us tick. He and I shall see the same simple pleasure of letting the wind blow us to wherever life wants to take us.

BUT, first thing, and I didn’t forget… I need to be babi-fied.

Cockanalysis

REN and RUBY continues... on msn at work:

RUBY:
i am in need of some hotness.. fucking chiily in this babi office.. hahaha

REN:
me too.. been sometime since i had spasms

RUBY:
CONFESSION TIME! i had 1 today. i zoned out for 2 seconds..

REN:
haha

RUBY:
and i spasz out! was thinking bout me being taken from behind!
FUCK my fav position!
Hahaha! eeesshh eshhh essssshhhhhh

REN:
mine too!

RUBY:
We’re peas! we know how we like it!

REN:
Puki (pussy in malay) peas

(*Ren speaks: thought I better explain the term puki, because I use it so damn often. Plus, I realized most of my friends are non-babi. And I recently found out a couple of them got to know of my identity earlier than expected. Oops, maybe I should start censoring more.. Haha! Anyway, Puki is pussy in Malay. I use it literally, but more to curse, swear, and more importantly, I say it with tons of affection.)

RUBY:
yeah.. and teddy is GOOOOD! fucks me just right.
no tinge of brazilian and he does as he is told..

REN:
haha

RUBY:
harder... faster.... hahahaha
then... he goes.... baaaaaabeeee... wait waiiit waiiiitttttttttt

REN:
hahahaha

RUBY:
am gonna cum.. Hahaha.. then he'll smack my ass to stop me from moving
Hahaha… ooohhh i leeerrrvvvv

REN:
hahaha
stop it before i fuck you

RUBY:
ooohh am i turning u on babe.. how many spasms did u get?
hahaha

REN:
in a zone.. hahaha
fuck man.. i'm looking at all these babis walking by.. no can do man.. even the fat ang mos are more doable. puki.

RUBY:
hey.. dun say fat ang mohs... i take offence..
Hahha.. my teddy is tubby.

REN:
HAHAHAH! i was just about to say that..

RUBY:
teddy tubby.. its ok.. amazing man... i rikkkeee... all he needs is my dress sense.. which i am slowly imparting..
that day... i made him wear his shirt and berms..
no more polo shirts and berms..
shirts don't cling to his tummy..
as i folded his sleeves...
he listen as well..
hahaha
good student.
I RRRIIIKKKEEE

REN:
sorry, got distracted.. This milo is so fucking cute..

RUBY:
Cibai (pussy in Hokkien) lah!
no milos!

*REN speaks: milo is our lingo for Indians. We just related it to the color of their skin..

REN:
he's got such a beautiful face

RUBY:
NO MILOS!

REN:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
amnesia.. forgot..

RUBY:
beautiful face my milo ass! ur not getting a piece of that!
AT ALL!

REN:
just admiring beauty.. no sin in that!
fucking beautiful face..

RUBY:
take a photo lahhh! ur beautiful cannot trust..
hahaha

REN:
he's beautiful!
but a little too skinny

RUBY:
eeeeeeeeeeeee

REN:
but the face is… perfection..
me like..

RUBY:
i dun like skinny.. me like men with meat
yikes.

REN:
not really skinny.. just that he should be a little bigger that's all

RUBY:
good lahh so we won't fight about the same type of men.

REN:
his face i tell you.. how do i describe him...
hmmm... i think he looks like a taller and skinnier version of your bro, constantine.

RUBY:
then sit on it. hmm... Constantine.. u just want him don't u..
Hahaha..




REN:
siao! (mad in hokkien) YOU are the one who keeps asking me to fuck him!


RUBY:
Hahaha..

REN:
wtf,
Anyway, how do you know i haven't fucked him already?

RUBY:
i will know.

REN:
if you say so

RUBY:
i would have asked him to fuck u. hahaha

REN:
Puki... you're nuts..

RUBY:
yeah! yeah!

REN:
puki.. like i said, what makes you think we haven't fucked?

(*REN speaks: Constantine, if you're reading this, we pass our time at work cock-talking all the time.. So don’t be shitting in your pants out there! Haha!)

REN:
i'm bored at work man.. I’m just looking for things to bullshit about.. Hahaha
hey, ask you something

REN:
would you believe if i fucked Danny?

RUBY:
yes.

REN:
PUKI YOU!

RUBY:
hahahaha

REN:
PUKI to the MAX! you're definitely more beast like than me

RUBY:
and the whole reason ur not with him.. is that u had him...
and he had a small cock! hahaha

REN:
Puki.

RUBY:
thus.. what you always say... the " i find him sweet but just cannot..”
Hahaha

REN:
HAHAHAHA.. good one, but nice try
you're the animal Rube
hahahaha..

RUBY:
hey.. u dun see me fucking my director!
Hahaha

REN:
but if you said you can believe i fucked danny, means you would do him...
you animal

RUBY:
me fuck danny!

REN:
he's sweet.. hahahahaha...

RUBY:
nahhh! my teddy is still smaller than danny..

REN:
would you belive if i said i fucked Jason?

RUBY:
i would fuck Jason.. so i would say yes.... only thing was that he has a bitche's mouth though...
but i like men with a bitchy mouth...
get to talk dirty and get it reciprocated.

REN:
hahaha.. But he's loads of fun

RUBY:
yeah i know.. too bad got Girlfriend.
sigh..

REN:
i played an april fool's joke on a friend one year.. telling him i got pregnant..
immediately, he asked around.. IS IT JASON?

RUBY:
Hahaha.. then?

REN:
my friends here told him i looked sick, bloodshot eyes..
that guy was insisting it was Jason..
shows what people know.. Hahaha..

RUBY:
hahaha
good on you mate!
i am keeping track of who i fuck..

REN:
you and your records
one person we both agree on who is lust-worthy is rashid

RUBY:
yeah rasheeeeeeeeeed..

REN:
yeah..

RUBY:
yeahh..

REN:
he's got a beautiful face too

RUBY:
that's true..
beautiful.

REN:
beeeeeeeeeeautiful

RUBY:
uh-huh...uh-huh....

REN:
HAHAHAHHAHA!!!!
me like... goodlooking but doesn't use it

RUBY:
Bodoh beauty
Hahaha

*REN speaks: bodoh = stupid in malay.. God man Rube.. I think we need a language legend. I’m tired of editing or translating.

REN:
PUKI!
just now i almost bumped into a cute babi.. he was so cute... look so nerdy today.. me like..
heart beating man..

RUBY:
Hahaha then take!
take!
take!

REN:
taken babe...

RUBY:
haiiiyahhh!

REN:
he's the one and only babi i will fuck here
what a cutie
including voice and personality.. i like

RUBY:
oohh yeahhh!

REN:
Then i went to get some work done.. got this cute milo in there.. handsome face.. But the accent is a turnoff..
i even prefer the babi..
see only! no touch...
give me spasm also shiok..

RUBY:
Hahaha.. ok.

REN:
hahahaha

RUBY:
at least for once, babi u like.

REN:
yeah! revolution! haha.. today he wearing glasses.. so cute..
HAHAHAHA.. shocked eh?
i have hope!
Hmmm.. maybe he broke up..

RUBY:
yeaaahhh!

REN:
hahahahahaha
when i'm bored, i get like this.. Full of shit..

RUBY:
hahaha
smell ya later u babi-fied puki! hahaha


**************

RUBY:
hoi
RUBY:
hoi!
RUBY:
HOI!
RUBY:
HOI!
RUBY:
HOI!
RUBY:
u there or not?
RUBY:
angry ahhh? i called u a babi-fied puki?
hahaha
RUBY:
OOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
REN:
back! back!
hahahahahaha,, you're so adorable

RUBY:
where did u go?
smell which babi?
ur a changed woman..

REN:
i make sure i experience revelations in my life
milo phase, vegetarian phase, babi.. let's see..
what next..

Babi Bantering

REN and RUBY on msn at work:

RUBY:
I just read s-word. HAHAHA!!

REN:
Hehehe..

RUBY:
and i actually feel quite contented.. i am not craving cock.

REN:
trying to be a reborn virgin like me?

RUBY:
yeah... 4 months since u had cock. or more baby!

REN:
ya man!! but it's ok. no good babi options in sight anyway

RUBY:
Hahaha.. yeah.. true manz...

REN:
Not a single one man.. i got babi offers last week but but turned all of them down.. cannot bring myself to do them

RUBY:
my friend james told me this and i never forget!
Life gives u answers in 3 ways :
Yes - it gives u what u wantNo - It gives you something betterWait - It gives you the best thing possible..
so now...
u wait..
u stalk ur prey..
then u POUNCE!
hahaha

REN:
Hahahaha waiting EIGHT FUCKING YEARS FOR A BABI is not enough???!

RUBY:
wait somemore.. hahaha

REN:
cock man you!

RUBY:
WOOOOHOOO! cock me! cock me!

REN:
hahahaha! didn't someone say she WASN"T craving cock?
Eh!!!! by the way, i actually forgot i went on a few dates with a babi about 5 years ago
no touching.. strictly dates.
one of the nicest guys i know, but couldn't bring myself to go anywhere near him..
tried to force, but cannot man..

RUBY:
Hahahaha.. u loser.. with a capital L

REN:
yeah... :( i really liked him.. but couldn't kiss him man… didn't even touch his hand

RUBY:
eeehhh!

REN:
i tried to force myself to accept his kiss.. but i pushed him away..

RUBY:
Why? scared of a small cock??

REN:
hahaha... i said sorry like hell man! not really because of the possibility of a small cock.. just not physically attracted to him at all
just a fucking kiss and i couldn't do it..
so yeah.. 8 freakin years.. no babi

RUBY:
hahaha! u can kiss Calvin.. he’s Chinese.. hahaha

REN:
Are you mad??

RUBY:
practice on Calvin lahhh! then by the time he leaves Singapore, u would be cured!

REN:
Are you fucking mad?

RUBY:
hahaha!!

REN:
you just want me to fuck again huh? i'm only looking at a date here now.. once i go on a date with a babi, figure some things out.. i'm back in buisiness baby!

RUBY:
ok. hmm..

REN:
but then, i'll be bored from the time i say "yes" to the date. ..

RUBY:
now to find that illusive piece of babi meat

REN:
I don’t see myself kissing one Rube..

RUBY:
close ur eyes.. that's the whole reason why god gave u eyelids.. like that also must teach...

REN:
hahahaha!!!!!! Nonono, I like to open them now and then.. ABSORB all the action..
but i can't be that close to someone i'm not attracted to.. my hormones just don't work

RUBY:
It does! it just needs a jolt.

REN:
well, yeah i do

RUBY:
let me feel u up.. hahaha!!

REN:
HAHAHAHA!!

RUBY:
before long.. any man will do.. hahaha

REN:
hahahahahahaha!! wtf, even a woman will do

RUBY:
ok lahh! after teddy's probation time of 3 weeks is over.. and if i khallas him.. i'm all urs.. hahaha..

REN:
weren't you going for lunch?

RUBY:
ur still here wat! when u go for lunch.. i go..

REN:
You’re so nice to me... haha..

RUBY:
i'm always nice to you.. ok... when u going..

REN:
i will have my msg soup today. Curry flavor.. hahahahaha…
get a little babi vibe in me..

RUBY:
Ok, countdown..

REN:
5

RUBY:
4

REN:
3

RUBY:
2

REN:
1!

RacialisDicK Part Two - A Declaration of Celibacy

About 3 months ago:

LEIA:
Are Whites and Indians really bigger?

REN:
Yes.

LEIA:
Really? All the same lah..

REN:
Well, maybe. I mean, the Chinese men I’ve been with weren’t tiny, but the Whites and Indians I’ve been with definitely weren’t amongst the smallest. So I don’t know.

*REN speaks:
This entry and the last (RacialisDicK Part One and Two) are long overdue. Ever since this blog started, my friend Leia encouraged me to write about how cock size might have something to do with racial differences. She thought it’ll be a good read since I possess a distinct affinity for Whites and Indians. My preference is really more for the way they look rather than cock size. I’m a “sucker” for their bigger eyes, deep set eyes, sharp features and sometimes their conventional macho body type.
But fucks aside, even with friends, I relate better to their sense of humor to that of local men. And yeah, a common sense of humor is another major turn on.
So cock size is just a convenient bonus. REEEEALLY! Haha…
************************************************
About 2 months ago:

REN:
You know Rube, I haven’t fucked a Chinese guy in 8 years.

RUBY:
What!!!!!

REN:
Yeah..

RUBY:
EIGHT years???

REN:
Yup. I forgot what a Chinese cock looks like.

RUBY:
Well, you’re not missing anything.

REN:
But I really want to do it. 8 fucking years Rube. I just want to make sure I don’t want it, or at least figure out why I stopped finding them attractive. I don’t remember them being especially bad in bed. So what the hell happened?

RUBY:
Ok, set! We get you a babi! I have a Japanese cock on standby. You want him.

REN:
Er.. Japanese? Didn’t your brother say Japanese porn was full of 2-inch cocks?

RUBY:
Make up your mind woman!

REN:
Well, I don’t want to waste my time either!

RUBY:
How the hell would I know his size? I haven’t seen it. You figure it out since you are the one who wants to be babified!

REN:
Hehehe.. But seriously, I’ve been trying for so long.. I just don’t find them hot. Remember that night at Balaclava? Didn’t work then..

RUBY:
So what is your plan?

REN:
I don’t know.. All I know is, I’m done with old cocks. And I‘ll tell you one thing. listen up..

RUBY:
yeah??

REN:
I'M CELIBATING UNTIL I FUCK A CHINESE MAN.

RUBY:
Shut up your face!

REN:
I’m serious..

RUBY:
You wouldn’t last 2 weeks.

REN:
Fuck, you really think I can’t do a Chinese anymore? Is this the end?

RUBY:
Ah ya… maybe you SHOULD just fuck a babi and get over it. Learn your lesson and move on.

REN:
That’s my intention. I just want to know why I haven’t been able to even date one. And forget about fucking... EIGHT FREAKIN’ YEARS, I never even held a Chinese man’s hands!

RUBY:
Really!!

REN:
Yup. So! I’ve decided. I’m not fucking until I do a Chinese guy. Okok wait.. I think if I do that, I’ll land up in a convent. Ok, what about this.. A date with a Chinese guy, and I will at least go first base with him. Fuck, I can’t imagine myself kissing one. Okok wait, ermm.. A date and I’ll touch his hands. Fuck. How do I do this!!!

RUBY:
Just close your eyes and do it. Do it. Do it!

REN:
Rube, do you know how difficult it is for me? It’s like you doing an Indian. You wanted to go back to your roots with me, but you couldn’t. but this is something I want to do. I need to know. My mind is willing, but it’s like my sexual aura poofs when it comes close to a babi.

RUBY:
So just go to a pub, pick up a babi, and fuck lah!

REN:
But, but, but..

RUBY:
Ren, why do you even bother…

REN:
Self-satisfaction. Self-discovery. You know me.. I’m warped sometimes.

*REN speaks:
So what happened since this conversation 2 months ago?
When I told a few close friends about this endeavor, they just laughed in my face, implying I’m fighting a losing battle. I would defend myself, saying I do find a few Chinese guys cute.
But imagine this… Over the last 8 years, I found only 3 datable Chinese men. The rest were in the you've-got-to-be-kidding-me category. SO! That doesn’t leave me with much choice eh.. The search continues…

Fuck, is it going to take me another 8 years to find ONE Chinese guy? And i'm just talking about a date here!

Just so you know.. I'm still living up to my vow. I think I might have forgotten how to fuck. Ren is offically a reborn virgin. Why, oh why, do I do these things to myself…